bittersweet memories - New Years Eve

for over 20 years we have been going to our friend Peter's place to celebrate New Years Eve at Hartfields..

Sophie was just a baby in a basket. She would sleep in a little sitting room, oblivious to the celebrations going on in the grand dining room. And then as she grew up, Peter would set a little table just for her in her private sitting room.. she grew older and helped Peter in the kitchen.

the first time we went to Peter's New Year dinner - I was mesmerized - by the layers of tuille draped around the ceiling and twinkling fairy lights over head. the table set for 30 people; candles and flowers from Peter's garden on the table complimented the waterford crystal and damask tablecloths.

A very civilized dinner party.

Peter would prepare and cook a 3 course dinner which we would all sit and eat, with lashings of champagne and talk.. taking us into the midnight hour - ending with chocolates and coffee while we welcomed the New Year in.

As the years went by, each of us got older.. some of our group died, others moved on and numbers dwindled. -

Peter is now 78.. and this year, he has told us that he will not be doing it. at first, I was in shock and yes, very upset. truthfully, i cried in my room for an hour or more. I don't do well with change.. and this dinner party, has been a big, important part of my life...

I am so grateful to Peter for doing these dinners year after year. and I always knew that it would end oneday.. now that day is upon us, well truthfully, I am sad. bereft even.

You see, New Years Eve dinner was kind of the beginning of my birthday celebrations, because all those years ago, my mother was in labour that night.. giving birth to me 5 hours after midnight. a New Years day baby. this day, 54 years ago, I was preparing to come into the world. Each New Years Eve, I would wear a new dress and party shoes.. feeling very much a princess. I felt special because of Peter's hospitality

so tonight, a different kind of New Year Eve celebration - celebrating with other friends.. a quiet dinner at their home.. but home before midnight.. I am ok with that

I turn 54 tomorrow - I am quite excited about that number - not sure why, but i feel deep within my being that it will be a good year for me.

so what do i plan for 2012? - I hope to be more loving, kind, tolerant and understanding towards others, but more importantly towards my SELF. I hope to find time to nurture myself, to find time to meditate and walk more. to sit barefoot upon the earth.. but best of all - I plan to walk the land of my ancestors in Cornwall - later in 2012.

today - I went to a local nursery and bought a few hydrangea plants to plant tomorrow.. I plan on spending part of my birth-day in the garden, tending Mother Earth.. starting the year as I wish to continue it.. peaceful.


all photos are from previous New Years Eve celebrations at Peters