the last week in April

the past few posts  have been alot of sorting through my thoughts.. and I thankyou for reading along.. this is the way I seem to work. I ponder, question and angst until I come to some kind of settling within. And this is what happened this past week.

the dutch medlar fruit is coming along well.. I have never tasted this but apparently it is much like an apple, so I look forward to tasting these when they are ripe.. and supposedly, they are good for jam
April 20
following my ancestral path brings a real sense of connection and peace to my soul. The following of the Celtic wheel of life, the folklore, herbs, rituals when I feel a need.... not so much casting circles and other traditional witch workings, but more like my grandmothers before me would do.. gather herbs, make poultices and remedies.. cook from the garden and tend earth. Following the Wheel, contemplatively.

Woke to rain and mist this morning so my planned walk to the co/op was changed to driving. Being with the nuns yesterday helped me to understand that ritual can be done at anytime of the month or season. I planned on doing a small ritual in my sacred space outside where I gathered leaves and wrote on each one an aspect of shadow that I wish to release but as it is raining I will have to postpone until it is dry. And that is ok because the intention is there and it will happen in a day or two. This realization has released anxiety within myself . No time restraints and it is helping me live in the moment

April 21
I dreamed of my power animal last night. Snake. It was inside and it was slithering towards me, so I chopped it up with an axe, then cried. Then more and more baby snakes started appearing in my path ....

We went for a ride today out to Lithgow to the IronFest... a yearly event held around Medieval life... I made a big mistake of having a reading done by a ‘gypsy’... and it was so negative, it really rattled me.. we left early because I was feeling sick from the energy of the reader.. and as we were driving home through Doctors Gap, I felt the wind blowing through my aura and I closed my eyes and allowed it to cleanse me... going up the hill, I saw large rocks.. our own standing stones!! and I felt one with those rocks. A part of them.. I heard the trees tell me that I was going to be ok, that I must, must begin to trust and listen to my inner wisdom..

April 22
A grey day today. I woke feeling drained but having a whisper of a dream about a horse... I was riding one in some kind of field. But that is all I got, a whisper of the dream.

After my morning meditation I realised that I am exhausted and need to really slow down,in my meditation I heard that I must scry on Samhain using my small glass scrying bowl and that I must spend time in nature as often as I can
The magpies have been in my garden alot the past week. On the fence like sentinels, I wonder if they are showing themselves to help me settle here. They were a very big part of my garden journey in Woodford and I felt lost without them but here they are, they heard the call of my soul
I can feel myself going within, caving, not wanting to share myself and that is ok, because my body is in rhythm with the seasons.

April 23
A beautiful sunny autumn day and once again the magpies are in my backyard. this brings me such joy! I see the bog sage is flowering and both my orange and lemons have fruit forming. There are also a handful of raspberries, forming on the canes. This garden will be abundant in a year or two, with the apples & plums already advanced and the citrus coming along well too.
 I am off to visit my dad in time for Samhain. His ashes are with his parents in the family cemetery at Sackville
Before I left, I gathered a gorgeous bunch of flowers from my garden.. lavender, hydrangeas and some of the Chrysanthemums that I planted last Samhain.. hydrangeas were my grandmas favourite flowers.. I also gathered a handful of autumn leaves and an apple from my tree. The apple was for an old Celtic custom of giving a loved one an apple at Samhain.
We drove down to Sackville, picking my grandsons up on the way.. I wanted to introduce them to their ancestors who were buried in our family cemetery..

we weeded and tidied up the graves of my grandmother and grandfather.. my dad is with my grandfather, we didn't have alot of tools and the cemetery itself needs a good tidy up, so we decided to come back in a month or two and have a working bee.

I arranged the flowers in a glass jar.  

April 24

the camellia that I planted last year in September for the healing of my sacral chakra, is blooming..
I call her Lilith.

the lavender in the front garden is amazing  the roses seem to have finished the autumn flush and will be asking to be pruned in a few weeks. so many ideas buzzing in my head for my garden. It is like finally, the garden is really speaking to me.

Joe and I went for a ride today.. and surprisingly, ended up in the same area as we had been the day before... stopping to have cups of tea in parks .. we went past chook farms.. where the poor chickens are locked into huge sheds.. crammed in. I could smell them as we drove.. the fear and sadness and I began to send love to each of those chickens stuck inside.. surrounded them with love and thanked them. It made me treasure my own little clutch of hens .. it was a shock to see those sheds and hens.. hidden deep within the bush as if to keep out of sight and out of mind.. if we can't see them, it isn't happening.
FROM MY THOUGHTS:
Past uncle Eric’s and auntie Nellies place on the corner, bringing back memories of plum jam and scones . I remember the orchards that surrounded their home, citrus, nectarines and peaches. I remember the roadside stall that they had, selling excess fruit. And the boxes of sweet summer stone fruit that they gave us... all of these orchards have gone, being replaced with sandstone quarries.. and any orchards that are remaining are overgrown and neglected. It breaks my heart. What sad times we live in..

Driving past where my grand father lived with his 2nd wife, Amelia. I remember their vegie garden
A big expanse if rich hand tilled soil. Growing all kinds if vegies
Their tiny cottage with floral curtains and rugs on the floor. Homely. Cakes in the oven and kettle on the stove .,.
I see that all this had vanished in progress and I wonder if their spirits still frequent this place at times. I wonder if the wander through gardens that we can no longer see in our physical world .. I wonder if they ever peek through the veil at this time of year, to see what their descendants are up to.. I wonder if they shake their heads in disbelief at what we are doing to our world.

I seem to be in the company of many ancestors this past week

April 25
Anzac Day
I ponder this: rosemary is a plant related to Samhain.. and this same plant is connected to Anzac Day. Rosemary means remembering... both days are end of April.. a very good connection for us here in the Southern Hemisphere..
Anzac biscuits [not cookies].. a fantastic Samhain food. A tradition of our ancestors.

While watching the Anzac ceremonies today on TV before we went to our local March, strains of ‘Abide With Me’.. took me back to when I was a little girl, singing with my grandma as she played the organ. That hymn was and still is a favourite.. my grandma taught me every word.. yet another ancestral link.. yes, the veil is really thinning for me this year. It is like I am truly connected, aware and intune with what is around me. Finally.

we went to Springwood for the local march, taking Mum with us and buying some Anzac biscuits from the War Widows. I use to make them when I was a teenager, but I just can't get them right, so it is easier to buy some home made from these wonderful women.

mum is 77 this year. I must treasure every moment with her. She enjoyed her Anzac biscuit and bought a packet to take home
I have realised [finally] that I must stop searching for women to share my journey with [even thought it is something I really wish for].. I am a solitary..and eventually my path will take me where I am meant to be. There is a local herb group that meets once a month that I am going to join and the Benedictine groups that I go to is enough for me for the time being, going into winter, I really do need to learn to allow myself to slow down..

April 26
Full Moon in Scorpio this morning. Last night I went out under the beautiful Moon and stood, absorbing energies.. some crystals were placed outside to take advantage of it as well.
A flock of juvenile bower birds arrive in my garden this morning. Nibbling at the parsley and some weeds growing in the herb garden. I note to myself, that I must net the raspberries this morning before they discover them.
I cooked myself some boiled eggs for breakfast this morning.. and as I sat and ate them.. my thoughts went back to times of sitting with my Pa eating our breakfast.. poached eggs with toast.. and I believe that was a most nourishing meal.. mostly because it was cooked with love by Nana. It is so important to cook our food with love. to sit and bless our food before eating.. and I sometimes even hold my hands over the food when I am serving it.. to bless it for others...
My thoughts turn to Samhain and I begin to plan my own acknowledgement of this seasonal shift. I pore over folklore gathered over the years from the Internet. I am attracted to ritual and decorating my home. The veil is beginning to thin. I see signs that my ancestors are around me... a kookaburra makes an appearance reminding me of my dad.
I begin to create a medicine doll and a prayer flag for Samhain and over the next year I will have a collection of altar dolls and a string of prayer flags
My thoughts travel back to my time in Cornwall and I wonder how my ancestors would have marked Samhain. What did they eat? A special meal or whatever they had in the stores? most likely what they had, I am thinking.. my planned lamb roast seems a little extragant, but I enjoy cooking and I know that I must begin to create traditions for myself and Joe..[I keep saying this, and I hope oneday I will look back and see, that indeed I did do this]
My ancestors were more intune with earth and the seasons, and the folklore that I love so much was their actual way of living...not just something done to celebrate. They had such a strong connection with all,  that their own ancestors were part of their physical life. THIS is what I strive for and I do believe that I am now firmly on that path. The doubt has gone

so that is my past week.. a few more days til the end of April.. and tomorrow I plan on spending some time in my front garden.. tidying up and mulching... then Samhain next Tuesday will bring the end of April..